even my farts smell like vagina
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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