I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We are all done wearing pants today
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
