oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
