Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
