On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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