a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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