I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
