bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
