i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
