I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
