I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My feet surprised me
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
