If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
