happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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