Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
if only i could text you this smell
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
