I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
