Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
