Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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