who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize