im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My ass is underappreciated
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
