Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
The ass gains better be worth it
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