the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize