Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
