She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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