ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
