idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
