Your mouth is God's brothel.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
