i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
