He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My legs feel like baby dolphins
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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