I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
