I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
