I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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