i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
