I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
