I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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