a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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