how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
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ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
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Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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