so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
