can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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