Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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