aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
foreskin is a definite game changer
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
