I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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