What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How does it feel to date your dad?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
