He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
