It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
