I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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