Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
