I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
