how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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