Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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