We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Randomize
