I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
