everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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