I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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