nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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