dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I cut my penus on the lid.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
