3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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