So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
