my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
