and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
